


Promo Code

by galwednesday



Series: Tumblr ficlets 2018 [5]
Category: Leverage
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Hardison is so done, M/M, Morse Code, costco, or lack thereof, the team that bargain shops together stays together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-12
Packaged: 2019-05-05 21:04:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14627007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galwednesday/pseuds/galwednesday
Summary: “What do we need?”“Don’t you have the list?”Eliot gave him an unimpressed look and held up a scrap of paper. “This list you made, that just has the word ‘EVERYTHING’ underlined three times?”“Okay, so we need three of everything,” Hardison said, wheeling the cart deeper into the Costco. “What about that is so hard to understand?”





	Promo Code

**Author's Note:**

> I'm absolutely cheating and putting this in my 2018 ficlet series despite writing it ten months ago, I just didn't have anywhere to put it until now. Prompted by liz-the-lemur: "Leverage gang goes to Costco?"

“What do we need?”

“Don’t you have the list?”

Eliot gave him an unimpressed look and held up a scrap of paper. “This list you made, that just has the word ‘EVERYTHING’ underlined three times?”

“Okay, so we need three of everything,” Hardison said, wheeling the cart deeper into the Costco. “What about that is so hard to understand?”

“The part where  _everything_  could mean  _anything_ , Hardison!”

“Well, in this case,  _everything_  means everything I use to make our equipment, so half the electronics aisle. Surveillance cameras, bluetooth headsets, microbatteries, spare solder–”

“Isn’t that what we got last month?”

“Yes, it is. And now we need more of everything, because you people treat the precious, delicate pieces of equipment I spend my weekends painstakingly assembling like they’re friggin’ Legos, and we’re down to three working comm units.” Hardison pulled into the electronics aisle, walking past all the desktop PCs and zeroing in on the do-it-yourself circuitry supply bins. “You want to try running a con without earbuds and button cams?”

“People ran ops just fine before gadgets like that were invented.”

“Yeah, okay, but keep in mind that only you and  _maybe_  Nate know Morse code.”

Parker swung down from the twenty-foot high shelving unit and dropped into a crouch in front of the cart. Hardison pulled the cart up so abruptly Eliot smacked into his back and bounced off. “I know Morse code. You don’t know Morse code?”

“Yeah, Hardison,” Eliot said, showing just a tiny hint of the full eat-shit grin Hardison knew he would have busted out if they weren’t in public. “You don’t know Morse code?”

Hardison gave him a betrayed look. “Lots of people don’t know Morse code. Sophie doesn’t know Morse code.”

“Of course I know Morse code.” Sophie poked her head into the electronics aisle to give Hardison a disapproving look. “Every con artist worth their salt has studied classic spycraft. Hardison, do you not know Morse code?”

“Well, excuse me for growing up in the age of binary and skipping over antique code standards, I’ll get right on–” Hardison stopped short, looking at what Parker had just set into the cart. “Parker?”

“Yeah?” Parker leaned against his shoulder, putting her back to him and watching the distant shoppers with wary eyes. Parker wasn’t big on crowds.

“Why is there a dog in the cart?” It was a happily-panting corgi, and it was gnawing on the corner of a cheap burner laptop with enthusiastic gusto.

“I stole it.”

Eliot pinched the bridge of his nose. “Parker, you can’t steal a dog.”

Parker looked at him, then at the cart, as if to say  _I clearly just did._

“Babe, if you want a dog, we can get a dog, but someone is going to come looking for  _this_  dog.”

Parker put a possessive arm around the dog, which stretched its neck out so it could keep chewing, but seemed otherwise unconcerned. “But he was tied up in front of the store. Nobody was even watching him.”

“I’ll take care of it,” Eliot muttered. He gently scooped up the corgi, which tried to burrow into his armpit. “Parker, c'mon.”

Parker looked unconvinced, but she followed as Eliot walked the dog back to the front of the store.

Hardison dropped one last switchboard into the cart and turned towards the checkout counter. “Where’s Nate?”

Sophie winced. “I think he snuck into the back offices.”

“Oh, man, is he trying to do a spot financial audit again?”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.”

Hardison looked down at his overflowing cart and started pushing it towards the checkout counters. It was heavy enough that he really had to put his back into it. “So I should ring these up fast before we get banned from yet another Costco location.”

“That might be for the best, yes.”

“He better not get us kicked out before I have time to hit up the food court. If I don’t get my churros fix I will take away his comms for a month, so help me. See how much he likes Morse code then.”

“What’s this about Morse code?” Nate said, materializing from out of freaking nowhere, because he lived to make Hardison’s life unnecessarily stressful.

“Hardison doesn’t know Morse code,” Sophie said.

“You don’t know Morse code?”

Hardison threw his hands up and stepped away from the cart. “That’s it! I’m done. I’m out. You feel free to ring this up yourselves, Imma go eat some damn churros.”

Nate watched, bemused, as Hardison stalked away, muttering under his breath the whole time. “Was it something I said?”

**Author's Note:**

> (rebloggable [tumblr post](https://galwednesday.tumblr.com/post/163466873238/liz-the-lemur-replied-to-your-post) here)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Promo Code](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18467020) by [aethel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aethel/pseuds/aethel), [reena_jenkins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reena_jenkins/pseuds/reena_jenkins), [secretsofluftnarp (luftie)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/luftie/pseuds/secretsofluftnarp), [Shmaylor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shmaylor/pseuds/Shmaylor), [silverandblue](https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverandblue/pseuds/silverandblue), [wingedwords (gunpowderandlove)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gunpowderandlove/pseuds/wingedwords)




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